Mastering The Art of Communication
Due to some recent conversations with Nina and Ronald, I’ve asked them both to write guest blogs on our feelings about the community relationships. I’ll probably have to kick Ronald’s backside to get him to do it, but I will be bugging Nina to write more!
Nina Brown
January 2026
One of my goals has been to master the art of communication. This is not an easy task. Often when I am speaking with another person, I want to be heard, to convince the listener of my opinion or to judge what the other is saying, which is not very artful. I began this journey of mastery with the thought “One can say anything. It is how one says it that is important.” This seemed like a good starting place in my journey, since it is easy to not say something because of the impact you fear your words might have on the listener. Perhaps one of the tools for learning this skill might be to not make the other person wrong when you speak. So, a phrase such as “it has been my experience that…..” Or “what do you think about this idea…..” might be used.
Another communication tool that I use a lot is to ask questions. This is a skill unto itself, as I learned when I traveled through Abu Dhabi. There, it is impolite to ask personal questions until well into the conversation. I remember a few years ago at my youngest son, Alex’, 50th birthday party, my grandson, Harrison, (14), who was sitting across from me at dinner, said, ”Tell me, GranNina, about when you were young.” I was surprised by his question. It would have been natural for him to want to tell me about his basketball games instead of asking me something about my life. I was so proud of him. A balance of questions and answers, I feel, makes for a good conversation. An example of an out of balance conversation happened when I invited a new acquaintance for tea. When reflecting on the two-hour visit, I noticed the guest never asked me anything, and thus left our meeting knowing little to nothing about me. I must be good at asking questions!
Let me share how I practiced my communication skills during last year’s Presidential campaign. My cottage is situated in an Independent Living community in Georgia. There are approximately forty residents with whom I join for meals. As you can guess, not all of them shared my convictions or opinions about the candidates. It is important to note that I also like to sit at all the different tables in the dining room (my classroom), so that I can get to know as many residents as possible. Obviously, at each table there were many strong opinions shared about both candidates. My approach was to listen to what was being mildly or passionately expressed and then to go home and fact check. Rarely did anyone ask for my opinion, which actually was a relief.
Topics are what make up conversation. I love rich, deep discussions about almost any topic. The topics that I find difficult however are in what I call an “organ recital.” Let me explain. My community is made up of seniors, and as you know that means, for many residents, trips to the doctor, hospital or Urgent Care. These are often life changing experiences and may have critical impact on the lives and future of the individual, so it is natural that sharing the details about those trips can give the person comfort. So, an organ recital goes like this, “Let me tell you about my heart. Did I share with you that I am taking a new pill for my kidneys? My lungs are finally recovering from bronchitis…..”
Some of the most precious conversations that I have come to cherish are with the wait staff. One day one of the young girls, after being complimented on how she treats the residents, said, “I don’t have any grandparents and y’all are like grandparents to me.” I have learned that at another senior community, the staff was instructed not to talk to the residents except to answer questions. How much richer my life is because our staff laughs, teases and shares personal events with all of us. We are family.
One result of my trying to master the art of communication is that I keep a record of personal information I have learned about each person while talking with them at breakfast or lunch. When a birthday arrives, with the help of Chat GPT, I add a personalized birthday poem with the card, which is unique for the person having the birthday. I have been told that some poems have been posted on refrigerators and others have caused tears. So, perhaps I have at least mastered “The Art of Listening,” one aspect of “The Art of Communication.”
Thanks to Nina, especially since I am struggling with the idea of communal living, and she is much nicer than I am. I always call this the old people place.
Have a blessed day!
Kara Beth
