Gross? Funny?

Yep. Definitely gross. Sorry.

I was trying to convince my in-home physical therapist I was back to good and doing my best. Alise looked at me with that all-knowing look and said, ‘But you aren’t writing your blogs yet.’ Zing – she nailed it!

My Katharses blogs should be an every day event at this point. I need something to help me through each day’s frustration. But the truth is, NO ONE really wants to read about my moans and groans! I keep trying to make my inability to take myself to the bathroom alone into an amusing anecdote. Running around ‘au naturel’ is just plain gross, but it is a wee bit funny at times. As long as I don’t pass by a mirror. AND – It is a great time saver when heading to do ‘the necessaries.’ Though I decided this morning my double helping of Miralax wasn’t necessarily the right choice.

Sorry. Gross and way TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Though, some things are pretty funny. When I was trying to get to the bathroom in the wheelchair by myself and got the chair turned so I couldn’t move either way in the hallway, I got the giggles when I thought of looking at myself from God’s point of view. I must have looked like a drunken rat in a maze! Determined, but decidedly stuck in place! Ronald came to save the day!

I am doing better this time around – I think. But it is only a week since my surgery. I think I’ve only spilled 2  glasses of tea and one large drinking mug of water. I have dropped innumerable items with my ‘grabber’ out of reach. I still clunk around at night trying to find my mouthguard. Of course, I end up waking Ronald. Eventually.

Bunny Trail

I was trying to say something about Ronald’s keen hearing (or lack of the same). I looked up the proper animal to compare him to and got to read several very interesting articles. Did you know a moth can hear the most frequencies? The mammal with the best hearing is supposed to be the bat, followed by the dolphin, and the elephant. Interesting, huh?

But Ronald is more tired this time around, naps or sleeps more soundly, and sometimes doesn’t hear me when I call for him in the night. If I happen to phone him, his phone is invariably needing charging or is in the other room. I’m thinking about ordering one of those horn noise makers they sometimes use at sporting events. One blast and he’d wake up for sure!

I’m trying to not let my fingers do the walking – which for you young people is a phrase from an old advertisement for the Yellow Pages. But that is an easier route than trying to explain the exact product I need from an obscure section of Walmart. Sitting on my backside for hours on end allows my mind to wander over the many things we absolutely must have, those things that would be handy, or those frivolous things that would bring a touch of joy to Ronald to distract him from grumping about another potty run.

I was going to add the neatest story of the week to this blog, but I think I’ll make it the point of tomorrow’s words of wisdom since today’s blog is nonsense. I’ll close this with my new joke I found on the milk carton on the hospital’s 5 o’clock tray. What do math teacher’s like to eat? Three square meals a day!

And now for some truth. Psalm 73:26 TLB. My health fails; my spirits droop, yet God remains! He is the strength of my heart; He is mine forever!