LUNCH, TV, AND LIPOSUCTION!

For some people, watching television while they eat is normal behavior. We don’t.

        Except for today. And it just wasn’t right!

        We took Mama to Shoney’s. She and I hobbled to the very back of the restaurant. I’m not complaining. The waitress found seats for us quickly, but Mama was a huffin’ and a puffin’, about to have a fainting spell from the effort. (Not really, that just makes the story better.)

        I got Mama a plate at the all-you-can-eat buffet, and I tell you what! She was one happy camper! In this part of the country, they know exactly how to fry catfish to perfection! And Mama loves her catfish.

        I went back for my plate of food and sat down beside Mama. I was facing the television where this plastic surgeon was consulting with these women about boob jobs and tummy tucks! Right there in Shoney’s! During my meal! With kids in the room!

        Though some people in my family always liked those gory shows where the surgeons peeled back flesh to remake someone’s face, it was not my thing. Or they watch the pimple popper with great delight. How gross is that?

        Well, here I am seated in a crowded room, the TV was displaying the words, so I read along. First, this young lady wanted a boob job. That didn’t show anything gross, but I continued to watch in fascination as several women wanted either tummy tucks, butt lifts, or fat repositioning to take their excess to parts that they deemed too flat or too droopy.

        Seriously? You are showing fat removal while I am succeeding in destroying every ounce of self-control and snarf up half the buffet? Talk about a guilt trip! And disgusting! I had to look away when he was pushing a needle to suck out the fat! Argh!

        But maybe it was good marketing. By showing something so gross about being a fat girl, Shoney’s was making the patrons subconsciously eat less food. Clever rascals, don’t you think?

        I’d like to come up with some clever Bible verse with great symbolic meaning that applies to that strange dining episode, but I am at a loss.

        Blessings anyway

                        Kara Beth